Miss You

Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them. This has been my mantra for the last few days.

I have now started to work at "the bar" part time. I guess that's probably no big surprise to any of you. I spend enough time there, so why not work there? My first day was Saturday and I was bar-backing (washing dishes, cutting up fruit, emptying ash trays, stocking beer, lugging ice buckets up stairs, etc.) Sounds glamorous doesn't it? Well it's a job at this point and I'm hoping that they will train me as a bartender, eventually. I figure that's not a bad trade to have, especially since I'm going back to school. Okay back to my story. So I'm working my happy little ass off and in walks Tommy with Courtney Love. Do you remember Courtney Love? She's the sweet little thing that took it upon herself to come get in my face about Tommy one night. Yep, that's her.

It took him forever to get rid of her the first time around and now here he is just bold as brass, walking in with her (and she was wearing one of the band t-shirts that I had to sell). I was so pissed I couldn't see straight. I know what he does in his spare time and that's fine. He's my friend and his slut bagging isn't really my business so I don't usually comment on it. But Courtney Love is a completely different matter. This chick HATES me and she's clingy and she likes to keep tabs on him. This means she could seriously cut into my Tommy time. People may not understand it, but I enjoy my Tommy time.

For those of you who don't know me personally, I don't hide anger well. When I'm pissed EVERYONE knows it. They know because I get this look on my face and I just stop talking. The silence is the biggest tip off. So obviously Tommy knew I wasn't happy. He comes up to me and says, "Man I'm hungover today". To which I replied, "That's usually what happens when you drink too much, among other things apparently." Yep I'm a bitch. So he keeps trying to talk to me every so often and I'm just not having it. Eventually they leave.

Thank God the night got better. Yes I worked my ass off, but two cute boys that I'd met the night I was selling t-shirts came back in. Oh so cute and they flirted with me all night. One of them even asked for my phone number (not that he will call, but at least he asked). On a not so chipper note, Mr. 40+ came in hammered. I've never seen him this drunk, ever. He was down right pitiful. Then he preceded to profess his undying love for me and beg me not to leave town. Okay whatever.

So Sunday I don't hear from Tommy. Monday I don't hear from Tommy. I had to go to "the bar" to talk to my new boss Monday evening and of course he had to walk in while I was there. We really didn't say anything to each other at first. Then he kept trying to engage me in light conversation. I would answer him but I was still mad so I wasn't extremely talkative. After a while he came and sat down at the bar and things just went from bad to horrible. We exchanged a few words and shortly there after he left the bar. I finished my beer and then called to tell him he could come back because I was leaving. He was walking down the street as I was leaving and ran into the middle of the street to my car. He asked if I had anything I needed to say to him and told him no, but I thought there were a few things he should say to me. Yeah I know, real smart, huh? Then he told me he'd have to think really hard about what those words should be and walked off.

A while later (after I'd gone home and gotten all dolled up) I went back to "the bar". The whole time I was there Tommy never said one word to me so I walked over to the other bar to find the Young Republican. I found him, but because of the mood I was in he just kind of rubbed me the wrong way too. I decided tonight was probably not the best night to invite him over for an encore. I did however sit there and precede to get hammered. My friend Abbey took me home. Once I was home I decided it would be a good idea to call Tommy. It was roughly 3:00 a.m. at the time. He didn't answer and I didn't leave a message, thank God. Haven't heard anything from him.

I feel horrible. I feel like I'm covered head to foot in bad mo-jo. I just want things to be fixed and I don't really know how to fix them. I didn't come waltzing in with Courtney Love so why in the hell am I the one that feels so damned bad?

Day Tripper

I guess I'm back for my weekly post, although I hope to get my computer back this weekend. Let me see if I can remember what has gone on since my last post. Oh last Thursday I went out with CAT and it was like Revenge of the Ex-Boyfriends. Her ex Soldier Boy was there and Mr. 40+ was there as well. We spent most of our time over at "the other bar" to avoid them (well mostly we were avoiding her Soldier Boy). Mr. 40+ actually came over to me and we had a pleasant little chat. After we got home that night my cell phone rang and it was Mr. 40+. I answered and he was really trashed. He told me how good it was to see me, blah, blah, blah and then he asked me if I wanted to come over. WHAT? I very politely declined and we got off the phone. That was just odd.

Oh and I did see The Young Republican Thursday night as well. It was all cool. We chatted and smiled and bantered. I think he had a very nice time the other night and got the impression he would do it again if given the chance. We'll see.

Friday I drove home to spend Easter with my family. On my way home, Tommy called and asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I told him that I was on my way home so I couldn't. Later on in the trip Mr. 40+ called me because he noticed he'd called me last night and wanted to make sure he hadn't said anything out of the way. I told him about the conversation but I wasn't pissed or offended by anything he'd said so it was all good. Then came the inevitable discussion about what happened with us. I hate these discussions but if someone needs closure far be it for me to deny them. That sucks. So basically it boiled down to: Yes you did piss me off the last night we spoke. I got over it. I'm not holding a grudge. Just because things didn't work out doesn't mean I don't still like you. You're a wonderful person but you just weren't the right wonderful person for me. I would very much like to be friends. Sure you can call for a chat every so often. No I'm not dating Tommy Lee. At least it's done and over with and we (it seems) will be able to remain on good terms.

Sunday night Tommy called me to wish me a happy Easter. I think he actually missed me. Mr. 40+ called and The Cowboy called. I don't know what it was about Sunday but apparently I was on a few people's minds. I didn't talk to Mr. 40+ or The Cowboy so I don't know exactly why they called.

Monday I went to "the bar" to see Tommy's band. After a bit I wandered over to the other bar. Abbey and lots of his friends were there. The Chunky Guitar Player was there and we had a nice little chat. That's the first time we've really had a good conversation since that night he came home with me and we fooled around. He even cracked a joke about that night and apologized for never calling. It was good talking to him like that again because he's a sweet guy. Jello was also there but avoiding me like the plague. I'm just going to chalk that up to him being embarrassed about the marriage proposal. Hopefully he'll come around and if not, well who gives a fuck? The Young Republican was also working. He came by the table I was sitting at to say hello. So glad everything is cool with him.

After a while I went back to "the bar" and the band was packing up. Tommy asked me if I could take him home. I agreed. We left the bar and I turned towards his house and he told me, "No, I meant go home with you." Okay. So we went home and started watching movies. We stayed up all night snuggled on the couch watching movies. Once the sun came up we went for breakfast and somehow over breakfast a road trip seemed like a good idea. We ran home so I could change and off to Atlanta we went (I know it was only Atlanta, but it was a road trip none the less). Tommy lived in Atlanta for years and he wanted to show me where he grew up and the places he'd hung out. It was quite the interesting trip. I found out a great deal more about Tommy.

Of course this day excursion also involved bars he used to frequent. Needless to say, by some time early yesterday afternoon I was drunk. Very drunk. Of course so was he. Then he took me to a cemetery where one of his good friends was buried while I was super drunk. Neither one of us remember why but I started crying at the cemetery. It's been quite some time since I drunk cried so I guess I was due. I don't remember being pissed or all that sad so I don't know what was wrong with me. Tommy decided that I was crying for everyone who was forgotten in that cemetery. I think it sounds as good as anything else so I'm going to go with that.

After the cemetery Tommy decided I probably needed some food so we had an impromptu picnic somewhere on the lawn of an office building (I think). After that we went over to one of his friend's house for a cookout. It was kind of weird being surrounded by all of these people that have known Tommy Lee for so long. He told me a good bit about his past yesterday and I'm very glad that I got to know the Tommy he is now. I don't think I would have been friends with the Tommy he used to be. In fact I know we wouldn't have. I'm not saying he was a bad person but he's just a much better one now.

We came home last night and I fell into to bed. I was beginning to feel really ill from the lack of sleep and I'm sure too much booze. Day drinking is rough when you aren't 21. I'm so going to have to leave Alabama before too much longer or Tommy and I are going to end up in "The Betty" or at the very least he's going to end up broke.

Thanks for the addresses guys!

Crazy, Sexy, Cool

Well I hope you're ready for a marathon update but a lot has gone on actually since and before my last post. I guess the biggest change in my life is that I was laid off March 31. Yeah I guess it sucks and all, but I hated that job more than life its self and now I have an opportunity to get my shit together and think about my future. I've chosen to see this as a positive time in my life, rather than woe as me, I lost my job. I feel better than I have in years. It's amazing what you can get used to and convince yourself that it's normal. Besides, losing my job gave me two whole days extra to study for the GRE. FYI: I don't have regular access to a computer anymore so that's the reason for my absence. I hope to be getting my computer back at home shortly, so keep checking in.

I guess now I'm moving onto the "Young and the Restless" portion of this post. I'm not even entirely sure where to start. The excitement started the Thursday night before I got laid off. I was hanging out at "the bar" with CAT, having our regular Thursday night. Tommy Lee was flirty. CAT's boyfriend's friend, Moose, was hitting on me pretty hard core. The Sugar Daddy was there with his brother and The Dr.'s Son was there as well. Now I've talked to The Dr.'s Son on several occasions as he seems very nice and I also find him attractive.

This particular evening, as Tommy worked behind the bar, I was sitting on my stool minding my own business (notice how often these things happen when I'm minding my own business) when suddenly The Sugar Daddy, his brother, Moose and The Dr.'s Son are all surrounding me. They start buying me drinks, which I of course except. The night wears on and finally it's just me, Moose and The Dr.'s Son remaining. The Dr.'s Son is flirting with me pretty heavily by this point and I'm flirting right back. Moose is hanging around in the background because he wants my number, but I had no intentions of giving it to him. The Dr.'s Son asks for my number and I totally gave it to him, because well, I would actually date him. The Dr.'s Son gets ready to leave for the evening and asks me to accompany him outside, so of course I go.

He kisses me in the parking lot (I know what is it with me and that parking lot?). He's a pretty good kisser so I go with it. I'm not sure how long we stood there but after some time a chick walking to her car comes up to us and asks, "are you Carlotta?" I tell her I am. Then she says, "Tommy doesn't know where you are and says you need to come back inside." I figure I'd better get my ass back in the bar because Tommy has been nice enough to agree to take me home. I exchange good-byes with The Dr.'s Son and he says he'll call me tomorrow. Yeah, I still haven't heard from him.

I go back to "the bar" and by this time Tommy has kicked Moose out and locked the door. Moose is hanging around on the sidewalk, I think waiting for me, but I'm not sure. Tommy sees me through the door, unlocks it and pulls me inside. Moose gets locked out again and Tommy refused to let him back in or me back out. Not that I was interested in Moose but I would have given him a ride somewhere. Tommy said he was driving me and himself home and he wasn't taking anyone else anywhere. For some reason Tommy was quite irritated with me and we bitched the whole way home because he can screw any skank he wants but he gets pissed when someone kisses me. Fair? I don't think so. At some point we must have made up though because I made him breakfast the next morning before he went to work. Sweet, aren't I?

The next night, Friday, I am now unemployed and sitting in "the bar". CAT is working, Tommy is working, and I'm just hanging out. Late in the evening, Jello comes in. Jello is Abbey's friend (Abbey is also friends with The Chunky Guitar Player, The Cowboy, The Young Republican and The Bartender {btw nothing ever materialized with The Bartender because that whole situation just kind of put me off and I haven't been going to the other bar much anymore}). Well Jello sits down beside me and he's drunker than Cooter Brown (I have no idea, it's just some odd southern expression). He starts to tell me how much he's always liked me and how gorgeous he thinks I am and how he would marry me tomorrow. Then he actually asks me to marry him and swears he's for real. He just wants to love me and take care of me until the day he dies. He kisses me about the time Tommy walks by so now Tommy is watching him like a hawk. Jello asks for my number and I give it to him, because well I've known him for ages through Abbey. Then he starts telling me how much he loves me and that he really would marry me. At some point Tommy overhears the wedding talk and starts being assy. He asks Jello if he can be a pall barer at our wedding. Jack Ass...

Then Jello starts quizzing me about guys. He suddenly remembers that I had a thing with The Cowboy. He wants to know if I fucked him. Then he asks the same about The Young Republican, The Bartender and Tommy. Who knew he was keeping up with me so well? I told him I hadn't slept with any of them, which is mostly true. Tommy and I attempted but from what I recall it was never accomplished. Jello leaves but asks me to call him before I go to sleep that night. I called him, even though I don't normally do that sort of thing, because I found him highly entertaining that night. He didn't answer so I left a message. I haven't heard from him or seen him since. Oh well. I just want to know what it is with me and Abbey's friends. Jello brings my total up to 5.

Tuesday (April 4) before my GRE the next day, Tommy took me to dinner and out for drinks. You know he really is quite sweet when he wants to be. Plus I needed to not think about that test for a few hours and Tommy was an excellent distraction.

Thursday afternoon I came back to Alabama from Atlanta (had to go to Atlanta to take the GRE). CAT, her boyfriend and I went out that night. Tommy was working and when they wanted to leave and I didn't, he offered to take me home. I accepted.

We got up Friday morning and picked up the new t-shirts for his band. Then we went to the mall, ran a few errands, then had a few beers and ate lunch. Tommy has taken it upon himself to teach me how to be unemployed. Apparently being unemployed means a good deal of day drinking. I don't really see how if you're unemployed you can afford to day drink but I guess if you've got a Tommy who insists on paying then you can.

Friday night Tommy's band had a show at "the bar". He asked me if I'd sell the new t-shirts at the show. I agreed. He told me if I sold 10 shirts he would repay me in a "special" way. Okay so I let slip that I thought I really should have sex proper before I vacated the great state of Alabama and how it would be convenient if I could just fuck him since we're already sleeping together, but since we don't do that I would just have to find someone else. At that point he volunteered himself because he was sure he didn't want me fucking anyone else. So there you go I pimped myself out for 10 t-shirts. Which I sold by the way. No small feat when the bar wasn't that crowded and they were $20 a shirt. I had fun selling the shirts though and I drank for free all night. Tommy actually had a "show date" that night but he sent her packing when he told her he just wasn't that into her. Then he went home with me. We made out Friday night but that was about it. I learned my lesson last time about drunk Tommy and he was so drunk he was staggering. He promised me that we had all day Saturday to make good on his offer.

Saturday we woke up and he had to leave to go pick up some keys from one of the guys in the band. I stayed in bed. While he was gone I promptly freaked out about the thought of sleeping with him. I wanted to have sex but I was worried that it would make things weird or ruin our friendship. I like things as they are between us. He finally got back to the house and on his way back, he stopped and bought me a surprise. It was a Rolling Stones DVD that I didn't own (see, sweet). So we watched the DVD and then he told me to get dressed because he was taking me somewhere.

That somewhere turned out to be little bar in another town that he'd helped to renovate. He showed me the whole bar. The family pictures on the walls, the framed Keith Richards interview, the deck he helped to build. We got there around 4 and of course we start drinking. We start talking to a few locals and some how or another we end up telling someone that we were getting married June 12 in Vegas. He ran with that story for the rest of the afternoon because we found it highly amusing. All the guys in the bar agreed that he was a lucky man and better treat me right. I was a prize after all and he better do what he could to keep me. One of them even told him he'd better buy me a ring so other men would know I was taken. That part especially cracked me up. Eventually we leave and head down to "the bar".

We hang out at the bar for a while. CAT is working, her boyfriend comes in with another friend of his. I'm kind of drunk by this time, because well, I'm not used to day drinking anymore. Tommy disappears for a bit and I've been talking to CAT's boyfriend's friend. He's a little drunk and ends up kissing me right there in the bar. I don't know why in the hell I let him, but I did. When it finally dawned on me that Tommy was somewhere in the building, I put a stop to it. It's not like he's my boyfriend, but he is my friend and that shit bothers him.

We went to dinner across the street cause I needed to sober up and I hadn't eaten anything but a spoon full of peanut butter all day. After dinner we went back to the bar. By this time Tommy and I were very snuggly. We were sitting on the couch together, he had his arm around me and we were kissing with I notice Mr. 40+ had walked in. I'm guessing he doesn't believe that Tommy Lee and I are just friends anymore. Oh well. We did speak very pleasantly to one another so hopefully there are no hard feelings. A while later Tommy and I went home. We curled up in bed and fell asleep watching a movie.

Sunday Tommy was hung over so we spent ALL day in bed watching movies. CAT went to get lunch so we just put in our order and she picked it up for us. We ate lunch in bed. She and her boyfriend cooked dinner that night and invited Tommy and I to join them. We didn't get out of the bed until 7:00 Sunday night. I know that's horrible but every now and then you need a lazy day. After we had dinner and watched another movie, I took Tommy home. It was the first night since Thursday that he wouldn't be spending with me. I kind of missed him. All I have to do is lay my head on his chest and I'm out like a light.

Monday night Tommy's band was playing at "the bar" again. I met CAT and her boyfriend out. They were making the rounds while I sat and watched the band. After a bit this guy comes over and starts talking to me. Next thing I know, he kisses my neck. Yeah back up Bubba. I'm like freak fly paper. After I finally get rid of this guy, CAT and her boyfriend are back. We walk across the street for a bit and when we come back the band is done playing. I sit down and start talking to Tommy and the guys. Tommy is pissed off about something (I hate it when he's in a pissed off mood). Of course he's been drinking so when I made some off hand comment he didn't like, he rips into my ass in front of the other guys in the band. This does not make me happy. Then he eventually goes and talks to this chick he knows and completely ignores me.

I sat there and finished my beer then leave without a word. I'm furious by this point. I was walking to my car, but I really didn't feel like going home so I by pass the car and go to the "other bar" where the Young Republican and the Bartender work. Abbey is playing there on this particular night so I know I'll run into someone I know. I walk in and the first person I see is the Young Republican. He standing at the bar so I walk up. He gives me a hug. Okay now we're hugging? WTF? I roll with it. I order a beer and a shot and we sit there and talk. After another beer and shot, he asked me how I was getting home. I told him I didn't know and he offered to give me a ride. I clearly didn't need to be driving. I accept and since I'll have to wait until they close down, I go and talk to Abbey and his girlfriend. Eventually the Young Republican is ready to leave.

He's flirting with me the whole way home. We get to the house and he leans over and kisses me. We start making out in his truck like the old days. I decide to throw caution to the wind and I invite him in. I can tell he wants to but he's struggling. We talk and I assure him that while I am a little drunk that I know full well what I'm doing, that I'm not looking to be his girlfriend or wife and I'm a short timer in Alabama. It was sweet that he wanted to make sure that I knew what I was getting into but I knew. I'd decided about a week before that if Tommy and I couldn't sleep together, I wanted to nail the Young Republican. I guess our physical attraction had something to do with that but I also just wanted to see if I could. Maybe that was because of the way he dumped me. Anyways I finally reassured him enough that he came inside. We had a good time but I do wish it had lasted a little longer. The next morning he went home.

Yesterday, while I was fine with what went down with the Young Republican, I was still a bit out of sorts with the whole Tommy thing. After running my errands, I stopped by the bar on my way home. I wanted to see how the Tommy situation was going to play out. He eventually came in and things were indeed a bit awkward at first. After a few of the other guys I'd been sitting around with left, he came over and sat down beside me. He asked me what was wrong and I told him that I was a bit pissed that he'd been such an ass to me the night before. We talked about it and ironed everything out and he apologized. In the mean time I'd had a few beers and Tommy didn't think I needed to drive home, so he took me home.

Both of us were hungry so he grilled ribs and I took care of the baked potatoes and salad. I have to admit it was a damn fine dinner to be thrown together like it was. After dinner and yet another movie, I was preparing to take him home when he informed me that he was just going to stay if I didn't mind. That's when I informed him that I'd gotten him a toothbrush, hope he didn't mind. I dropped him off at work this morning and now here I am sitting in the library, typing this up, looking for jobs and checking out grad schools. I'll try to update a bit more frequently because I know the 10 page posts get a bit tiresome.

*Carrie, Erin and Jack; I had you guys saved in my favorites on my work computer and need your blog addresses again. If you could just leave them for me in the comments that would be great. Thanks!

School's Out

Well kiddies there is much afoot in Carlotta's world but I did want to stop by and thank you all for the well wishes with the GRE. I studied my ass off and I think it managed to pay off. I don't think my score will end up in the record books, but it was over the required score for all the schools I'm looking into. Hopefully I won't have to take it again.

I'll be checking in as soon as I can, and Carrie I have a hell of episode of "The Young and the Restless" for you...