Brand New Chimichanga

Friday, July 28, 2006

My Future's So Bright (I Gotta Wear Shades)

About three weeks went by and I never heard from Tommy. I cried everyday of the first week I was in Atlanta and I missed him terribly. I was so upset because of the way things were left between the two of us. I thought of him at least once every day. I finally went back to Alabama to get some more of my stuff and decided not to give him any advance warning. CAT knew I was coming but I told her to keep it under wraps. I showed up at "the bar" on a night I knew he'd be working.

He was polite when I came in and asked how I was. He wasn't rude but he was treating me like someone he barely knew. I was there to have fun with CAT and yet I couldn't completely enjoy myself because Tommy was acting so oddly towards me. It just made my heart ache even worse than it already did.

Before I left that night I did give him the photo album I'd made for him and he thanked me. He even gave me a hug. Things still didn't feel right though. I spent the rest of the night (after CAT went home) talking to the drummer in his band about every thing that was going on with Tommy. This is why I love the Drummer Boy so much. He patiently listened to me and comforted me all night. He told me that Tommy really did love me and he was being a dick because he was upset that I left. Drummer Boy also told me that even though it was obvious that we loved each other very much, we could never be together. Yeah tell me something I don't know.

I eventually went home. Before leaving "the bar", I hugged Tommy bye and told him that maybe the next time I was in town he could act like he actually knew me.

The next day I was still in Alabama when CAT got off work. I met her at "the bar". We were hanging out for a while and eventually Tommy came in. He spoke when he came in but sat down at the other end of the bar. After what seemed like an eternity, Tommy finally decided to come sit down beside me. We sat there for a while making idle chit-chat when he finally brought up the day I left. He informed me that I never called him to let him know when I needed him to help me move.

So thus began our heart to heart talk sitting at "the bar". We were finally just honest with each other. He did ignore my phone call the day I moved because he was pissed at me. He found out about the Young Republican literally before I'd even made it back to "the bar" that night. How he found out so quickly I'll never know. I had to counter with the fact that he and I had been hanging out together plenty of times and he'd leave with some girl and go do God knows what with her and then come back in the bar and end up going home with me later. I pointed out that I never got upset (okay I never let him know I was upset) about it and never said a word about it. His excuse was that everyone expected him to be a dick and do things like that but he didn't expect it of me. Yes I called bullshit on that. If he can do it so can I.

Anyway he admitted that he was being a dick because he was upset that I was leaving. I told him that the only reason I slept the Young Republican the night before I moved was because I was hurt that he was being a dick. Then we both told each other how much we had missed the other and that we'd both acted like asses because we were both hurt. Imagine that, the truth actually made everything better. After our big old chat fest everything felt much better. Things felt as normal as they could considering the situation now. I left to come back to Atlanta still missing him but not nearly so miserable about it. Things were right in the world of Carlotta and Tommy once again. Now he calls me every week or so just to see how I am and I like that we can still be friends.

On to the best part of me moving to Atlanta. I finally found my direction. On a whim I contacted a culinary school here in town and went to an open house that they hosted. I had a great time and got really excited about the thought of pursuing that dream. I did some checking into some other culinary schools in the southeast. After visiting another school, I decided that it just felt right and that I should go for it. So I applied to the school and Monday I got my acceptance letter! I'm off to Charlotte in roughly a month to start culinary school. I literally can't wait. I honestly can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. This just feels like what I'm supposed to be doing.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Sweet Home Alabama

I know this update has been a long time in coming, but so much has been going on in my life since my last post. I finally left Alabama. Yep, I'm officially no longer an Alabama resident. You know if all of this had happened 2 years ago I don't think it would have been nearly so hard for me to leave. I still would have missed CAT and some of the other people I'd met there but I think it would have been easier to leave. I'm not saying that I wish the last 2 years hadn't happened though. As much as it hurts, I wouldn't trade the experiences that I've gained for anything. And now for the finale...

Tommy Lee and I managed to make it through my last weeks in Alabama relatively well, that is until the time came for me to actually leave. I had such big plans for my last official night in town. CAT and Tommy were both working at the "the bar" that night so I was going to get all dressed up and go hang out with my favorite people in town. I stopped by "the bar" Saturday afternoon because CAT had the afternoon shift to hang out with her a bit and work on my going away gift to Tommy. I'd gotten together all of the photos I could find of the two of us and/or some pictures from times we'd hung out and put them into a photo album along with the lyrics to some of my favorite Rolling Stones songs. Sweet, aren't I?

So I'm finishing up the photo album when a bachelor party comes rolling in. These were some fun and rowdy guys. Every time they bought a round of shots, they bought me one. Those are the perks of being the only girl sitting in a bar. So of course I got a little happy. Eventually the bachelor party leaves and I'm sobering up to go home. I sit there so long that Tommy Lee comes in for his shift. Guess what? He's being a complete and utter dick! So I get upset and go home.

Once I'm home I get all gussied up in a new, hot black dress and strappy, black heels. The make-up is good and the hair is rockin'. I got all dressed up because I wanted to go out with a bang but also because I wanted to look pretty for Tommy. I go back down to "the bar" dressed and ready to kill. As soon as I walk in everyone tells me how nice I look, everyone that is but Tommy. He walks by me and all I get is a surly "Hey". I hang out long enough to see that things aren't going to improve on the Tommy front. Since I don't want to be miserable for the rest of the night I decide to go wandering for a bit, so I wander on over to the other bar.

I run into a few people I know and tell them that I'm leaving and say some good-byes. Then I see the Young Republican across the room. I walk over to him and we start chatting. It turns out that it's his birthday. He shows me his t-shirt which reads, "It's my birthday, buy me a beer" on the front. Since it's his birthday and it's my last night in town, we decide to have a drink together and celebrate. One drink turns into two and we're flirting like crazy with each other. Eventually we part ways to go and talk to other people but we keep catching each other's eye across the room and doing the whole smiley/flirty thing.

At some point I run into him as he's coming out of the men's room and I'm going to the ladies room. When I come out he's sitting on the stairs waiting for me. I go over and he pulls me towards him. He kisses me. We make out a little (we're in a somewhat private area so it's not like we were at the bar), then he shows me the back of his shirt and it says "sleep with me, it's my birthday". I ask if he's had any takers and he tells me that he hasn't had any since the last time we hooked up.

I'm a little drunk, I'm upset over Tommy Lee and the Young Republican keeps telling me how pretty I look and he keeps kissing me. So I thought, "What the hell?" and agreed to give him the requested birthday gift. We continue to make out in the stairwell for a few minutes then he asks me if I have any protection and of course I don't because I don't normally leave the house with the intention of getting laid. He doesn't have any either so he has to go and find some. Eventually he comes back and grabs may hand. He takes me upstairs to where the office and a performance area are. Yep like some trashy teenagers, two almost 30 year olds had sex upstairs at a bar on a stage. As trashy as it was, I have to admit that it added to the excitement of the whole thing.

After the rendezvous was over we came back downstairs to an empty (with the exception of the staff) bar. It was well past closing time! Of course everyone knows what we've been doing upstairs. I probably would have been more embarrassed if I hadn't been moving the next day. Instead I waved to everyone and the Young Republican walked me back down to "the bar". He kissed me good-bye and we parted ways. I walked back into "the bar" and immediately everyone wanted to know where I'd been all night. Ummm....

Finally CAT is ready to leave and she's taking me home. Tommy said he'd help me move a few weeks before when I asked and though he was still being a dick, asks what time I'm planning on getting started the next day. I tell him I'm not sure and suggest that he just come home with us so he'll be there when I need him (okay so I was really trying to salvage my last night in town with him). He offers the lame excuse that he has something to take care of in the morning and can't. It's obviously a lie. I leave the bar with no particular fanfare.

I wake up with a raging hangover the next morning and still have basically everything to pack. I get up early and pack up as much as I can. The time comes to give Tommy a call and I do. It rings and rings, eventually going to voicemail. I call him a few minutes later and the same thing happens. I can feel it deep down in my gut that he's looking at the phone, sees that it's me and just doesn't want to answer.

I left Alabama that day to embark on my new life without so much as a good-bye from Tommy.