Brand New Chimichanga

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Head Games

In an odd mood today and my head is not a particularly fun place to be at the moment. I'm a smart woman yet sometimes I'm infinitely stupid. Go figure. Just not going to get into it because it's Thanksgiving and I should be happy for all of things that I do have in my life. Besides I'm not going to make you people go through the rabbit hole with me. That would just be mean.

I hope you all have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

As Time Goes By

HHmm, where to begin? I know I've been M.I.A for a few weeks but I've been pretty busy. Wish I'd had the time and the motivation to keep you updated but I just haven't and now this is going to be one hell of a long post.

Chapter 1: The Halloween Party

LBG and J hosted a Halloween party the Saturday before Halloween. I know I've written since then but I just didn't have the energy to mention the party. It was small but mighty. We all drank many shots and copious amounts of PJ (if you don't know then you should definitely ask). At this party I was a CSI (crime scene investigator) complete with CSI jumpsuit, safety glasses, flashlight, latex gloves, field kit; basically the works. LBG was Princess Leia and J was a rock lobster complete with red oven mitt claws and an old fender guitar. Also in attendance were Lil' John, Usher, Elton John, Napoleon Dynamite and Deb, Pimpin' Satan, a witch, a garden gnome, 2 evil republicans and Johnny from the Karate Kid dressed in skeleton suit and hoodie. There may have been a few more but those are the ones that stick out.

Highlights from the evening: About 6 of us attempting to lessen the supply of PJ by sticking our heads in the vat of alcohol and drinking it through bendy straws. LBG and I (after the PJ/straw incident) taking about 40 playboy pictorial type pictures of one another (clothes stayed on, mind you) in the den, completely oblivious to the fact that others could actually see us. Me buttering J's lobster tail and trying to eat it. And getting up close and slightly personal with an extremely drunk garden gnome.

Chapter 2: The Birthday Party

LBG turned the big 3-0 November 5. This event was dreaded and anticipated all at the same time. In an effort to usher my girl somewhat painlessly into her 30's I wanted it to be a pleasant experience. We, (me, J, Poodle, LBG, LBG's dog Ernesto P. Jones and LBG's new flavor, Dick) headed to Clemson for homecoming and some good old South Carolina fun.

Highlights from the weekend: LBG got a little. We had good cake both of the vegan and regular old animal by-product kind. Clemson won the homecoming game. We had a bon fire Saturday night in honor of LBG's birthday, complete with a wiener roast, smores and left over PJ. I got a new nickname "bicycle" just because I made out with two frat boys in a bar and got another dude's phone number all in an hour's time on Friday night (side note: I'm the least whorey person I know and should not be called bicycle because no one rides me but I'm taking it in stride, people). Poodle finally got to see Clemson. Played Never-Have-I-Ever around the campfire and most everyone got drunk except Poodle, who should have been the drunkest of all. The dude whose phone number I got Friday night, came to LBG's party to see me and I got to snuggle with a boy. LBG enjoyed her 30th birthday and so did we.

Chapter 3: Savannah

This past weekend I went to Savannah for my early birthday gift from my parents. They sent me to one of Paula Deen's cooking classes at her restaurant The Lady & Sons. My mom, grandmother, aunt and cousin met me there so we could have a girls weekend. We had a lovely time walking on the river front, shopping, eating, touring old Savannah homes and going on a ghost hunt. I enjoyed spending that time with my family, especially my aunt and cousin who I don't see very often. It was really good to see my grandmother having a nice time because I know things have been hard on her since my grandfather passed away earlier this year.

Highlights from Savannah: The cooking class was awesome. It was everything I hoped it would be and I had so much fun and laughed and learned a lot. I offered myself to Paula Deen's youngest son and he blushed. I brought my grandmother a personalized, signed cookbook from Paula and she got so excited, she cried. Eating fresh, homemade pralines from the Savannah Candy Kitchen.

Chapter 4: Boy News

Things with the Cowboy are pretty much dead. We still hang out from time to time in a group but that's pretty much it. I usually end up getting pissed off at him about something or other even in these group situations, mostly when he does nothing. And all of you are right, he's got serious issues and I don't think he's good for me. I'm working on distancing myself from all of that. It is a necessity that I remain on friendly terms because of mutual friends, though. I'm taking the out of sight out of mind approach right now and for the most part it's working. But every so often when I'm alone and it's pretty quite in my head I just have to wonder why he stopped calling all of a sudden. Why doesn't he like me? I know I'm not defective but sometimes the insecurities get to me. I also wish I didn't think he was so damned cute. Or that I didn't like the way he touched me. Oh well, live and learn right? And as you can see, he certainly isn't stopping me from kissing and telling. I know you have to kiss a few frogs before you find a frog that has some princely attributes. I maintain that I'm just kissing mine quickly and in groups of two or more so I can find my frog prince already, or at least a frog that I can date for longer than two weeks.

Coming soon: This weekend is the opening of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and yes I'm one of those dorks that will be going to see it opening night. Also Saturday is the Clemson/South Carolina game. This is the biggest game of the year for South Carolinians. There will be lots of chicken and there will be lots of beer. Hopefully there will even be a straight boy or two with which to flirt. So there you go, I'm looking forward to a weekend of magic, dragons, knights in football armor, dead chickens, beer and good friends.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Sour Milk Sea

I came to a startling realization last night. My love life has the shelf life of milk. It's great for about two weeks and then it expires. First it begins to smell funny. Then it separates. Next it sours and cottage cheese starts to form. Then you just have the throw it out and buy more.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Love Went Mad

This has just been a crap day. Of course last night pretty much sucked too. I honestly can't even string my thoughts together very well at the moment. The one thing I do know is that the Cowboy used to make me feel good and now he just makes me feel like shit. And no it isn't because he's doing anything, but the fact that he does nothing is pissing me off. I just want a normal guy with minimal issues (cause trust me Tommy Lee and the Cowboy have some fucking serious issues), that doesn't play games, doesn't like to fight like some bullshit macho man, doesn't have a drinking problem, doesn't decide after a whirlwind 2 weeks that they aren't sure how they feel anymore and doesn't enjoy the company of other girls when things are in the works between us. Is that too fucking much to ask? Apparently for me it is.