Brand New Chimichanga

Friday, June 24, 2005

Movin' Out

*I never realized how much I use Billy Joel songs as my blog titles until just now. Weird. I'm not even a huge Billy fan. You'd think I love him like I love the Stones.*

I hate moving. It sucks big time. The last two times I've moved I got to do it on the company dime. That rocks. You pay other people to come move all your shit. This time I'm moving my own shit and I don't like it. Especially since all my shit won't fit into a 10' X 10' room. Ahh, the price we pay to save money.

I'm sore, I'm tired and frankly a little grumpy. I've been moving for a week and it's starting to wear on me.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

I Will Survive

I depended on you. You were supposed to be there for me. In reality you just brought me down and made me sad. I put so much time and effort into you but what I received in return was fleeting. The happy moments and laughter didn't last. The sadness and turmoil you wouldn't let me leave behind. Just when I let my guard down you would throw it back in my face and make me relive it all over again. You made me cry too often. It took me awhile to see that ours was not a healthy relationship. That I was the one investing my time. That I was the one sharing all of my emotions. Many times my words fell on deaf ears and sometimes you ignored me all together.

It's funny that I didn't even realize how little I needed you until you were gone. I wasn't even the one who sent you away but I'm glad you left. You disappeared and it made my world so much lighter and brighter. If I had known getting rid of you would have yielded those kinds of results I would have ditched you a long time ago.

We can still be friends, though. I can talk to you from time to time. I know that I don't need you and I'm fine on my own. I don't really miss you at all. I don't have the desire to be with you constantly anymore. I find no gratification in your embrace. I'm not elated by your random bursts of love and laughter. I find these days they don't affect me one way or the other. I'm pretty indifferent to you. I guess I wasn't as into you as I thought.

Most surprising to me is that I am happier without you.

Friday, June 17, 2005

I Am Woman

I'm sure most of you have seen this email before. I know I have. But each time I've received it I've been reminded how extremely proud I am to be a woman. This is true of so many of the women in my life. I am lucky to have such women around me. Women who I look to for love, guidance and friendship. I only hope that I measure up half as well. Granted this is a little more Jesus than I typically go, but the message is such a positive one that I can't help but share.

One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said,
"Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?
She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
and able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything
with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements.
"Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish."
But I won't," the Lord protested.
"I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days."
The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
"But you have made her so soft, Lord."
"She is soft," the Lord agreed,
"but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?", asked the angel.
The Lord replied,
"Not only will she be able to think,
she will be able to reason and negotiate."
The angel then noticed something,
and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
"Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."
"That's not a leak,"
the Lord corrected,
"that's a tear!"
"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
her loneliness, her grief and her pride."
The angel was impressed.
"You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing."
And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness,
love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Poetry in Motion

As I was packing some books last night, I came across my copy of "Where the Sidewalk Ends". I've loved this book since I was a little girl and it's probably where my love of poetry began. I was flipping through it and I came across one of my favorite poems. Even though it is aimed towards children, I find this particular poem still resonates with me now.

The One Who Stayed
By Shel Silverstein

You should have heard the old me cry,
You should have heard the biddies
When that sad stranger raised his flute
And piped away the kiddies.

Katy,Tommy, Meg and Bob
Followed, skipping gaily,
Red-haired Ruth, my brother Rob
And little crippled Baily,

John and Nils and Cousin Claire,
Dancin', spinnin', turnin'
'Cross the hills to God knows where-
They never came returnin'.

'Cross the hills to God know where
The piper pranced, a leadin'
Each child in Hamlin Town but me,
And I stayed home unheedin'.

My papa says that I was blest
For if that music found me,
I'd be witch-cast like the rest.
This town grows old around me.

I cannot say I did not hear
That sound so haunting hollow-
I heard, I heard, I heard it clear...
I was afraid to follow.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Fresh Start

Well I accidentally deleted my blog today. Yes, really it was an accident. I clicked cancel and it was deleted anyway. Oddly enough I find that I'm not really upset about it. I thought I would be but I'm not. I guess sometimes mistakes are good things. It was quite freeing actually. I can't get back those posts even if I wanted to, and maybe in some cases that's for the best. Onward and upward...