Fake Plastic Trees

I should totally be doing something constructive at the moment but I just don't feel like it. I need to clean my apartment, do laundry, research a paper, shave my legs and paint my toenails but instead I'm sitting on the couch in my sweatpants playing on the laptop my parents gave me for Christmas, and musing. About what you might ask? Well lots of things actually. Here they are in no particular order.

- I'm obsessing about my weight because I've gained a little since school started. I knew I would, it being culinary school and all, but it's driving me nuts. It's kind of strange that it didn't bother me as much when I was like 80 pounds heavier like it does now. I guess because I realize that I don't want to be that person ever again and I'm a little panicked that I'm back sliding. Plus I never had a man when my ass was that fat and I guess I'm a little worried about how the Big Bad Wolf sees me these days.

- Which I guess brings me to the next issue. I can't help but wonder why in the hell the Big Bad Wolf hardly ever compliments me. I don't have to have constant compliments but they would be nice every so often. Especially now that I've gained a few and am not feeling as pretty as I normally do. I wonder if he also doesn't find me as attractive as he initially did. Or perhaps he could just be a boy and not think and I could be a girl and over think.

- Every four or five days I consider calling things off with the Big Bad Wolf. I'm not entirely sure why. I think it has more to do with me than it does him, though. Sadly, I haven't been in a real relationship for this long in quite some time. Scared to death doesn't even come close to describing the fear I feel. I think sometimes I feel like it would just be easier to cut bait and run (don't you just love those Southern expressions?).

- I have about a million questions I want to ask him but I never do. Instead they just circulate through my head over and over and over again. Then I begin to worry if I should just ask them or if I should just keep them to myself.

Now I'm even driving myself crazy in blogland. This is a loosing battle so I'm out...