Miss You

Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them. This has been my mantra for the last few days.

I have now started to work at "the bar" part time. I guess that's probably no big surprise to any of you. I spend enough time there, so why not work there? My first day was Saturday and I was bar-backing (washing dishes, cutting up fruit, emptying ash trays, stocking beer, lugging ice buckets up stairs, etc.) Sounds glamorous doesn't it? Well it's a job at this point and I'm hoping that they will train me as a bartender, eventually. I figure that's not a bad trade to have, especially since I'm going back to school. Okay back to my story. So I'm working my happy little ass off and in walks Tommy with Courtney Love. Do you remember Courtney Love? She's the sweet little thing that took it upon herself to come get in my face about Tommy one night. Yep, that's her.

It took him forever to get rid of her the first time around and now here he is just bold as brass, walking in with her (and she was wearing one of the band t-shirts that I had to sell). I was so pissed I couldn't see straight. I know what he does in his spare time and that's fine. He's my friend and his slut bagging isn't really my business so I don't usually comment on it. But Courtney Love is a completely different matter. This chick HATES me and she's clingy and she likes to keep tabs on him. This means she could seriously cut into my Tommy time. People may not understand it, but I enjoy my Tommy time.

For those of you who don't know me personally, I don't hide anger well. When I'm pissed EVERYONE knows it. They know because I get this look on my face and I just stop talking. The silence is the biggest tip off. So obviously Tommy knew I wasn't happy. He comes up to me and says, "Man I'm hungover today". To which I replied, "That's usually what happens when you drink too much, among other things apparently." Yep I'm a bitch. So he keeps trying to talk to me every so often and I'm just not having it. Eventually they leave.

Thank God the night got better. Yes I worked my ass off, but two cute boys that I'd met the night I was selling t-shirts came back in. Oh so cute and they flirted with me all night. One of them even asked for my phone number (not that he will call, but at least he asked). On a not so chipper note, Mr. 40+ came in hammered. I've never seen him this drunk, ever. He was down right pitiful. Then he preceded to profess his undying love for me and beg me not to leave town. Okay whatever.

So Sunday I don't hear from Tommy. Monday I don't hear from Tommy. I had to go to "the bar" to talk to my new boss Monday evening and of course he had to walk in while I was there. We really didn't say anything to each other at first. Then he kept trying to engage me in light conversation. I would answer him but I was still mad so I wasn't extremely talkative. After a while he came and sat down at the bar and things just went from bad to horrible. We exchanged a few words and shortly there after he left the bar. I finished my beer and then called to tell him he could come back because I was leaving. He was walking down the street as I was leaving and ran into the middle of the street to my car. He asked if I had anything I needed to say to him and told him no, but I thought there were a few things he should say to me. Yeah I know, real smart, huh? Then he told me he'd have to think really hard about what those words should be and walked off.

A while later (after I'd gone home and gotten all dolled up) I went back to "the bar". The whole time I was there Tommy never said one word to me so I walked over to the other bar to find the Young Republican. I found him, but because of the mood I was in he just kind of rubbed me the wrong way too. I decided tonight was probably not the best night to invite him over for an encore. I did however sit there and precede to get hammered. My friend Abbey took me home. Once I was home I decided it would be a good idea to call Tommy. It was roughly 3:00 a.m. at the time. He didn't answer and I didn't leave a message, thank God. Haven't heard anything from him.

I feel horrible. I feel like I'm covered head to foot in bad mo-jo. I just want things to be fixed and I don't really know how to fix them. I didn't come waltzing in with Courtney Love so why in the hell am I the one that feels so damned bad?