You Can't Always Get What You Want

I sometimes wish that I had a heart of stone but I don't. I've been called emotional; hormonal even. It's times like these that being a big ol' ball of love sucks.

You guys were right, Tommy and I did make up. We didn't speak for roughly a week after the blow out and then when I came into the bar again he kissed me and said "welcome back". What ever the hell that meant. I never did get a decent answer out of him as to why he got so pissed off at me. We were both pretty drunk when it happened so I'm sure that didn't help. After we kissed and made up things went back (pretty much) to normal. Tommy was staying over at the house again. We were hanging out. We were having our special conversations. Unfortunately it just couldn't last.

I think things are officially done. I apparently made the one mistake you can never come back from with Tommy. I told him I was leaving. I don't think he's used to being left. He's the one who usually does the leaving. I know because he's told me countless stories that ended with him just picking up and taking off.

A few days after I told him, I was driving us home because he was drunk (as usual). On the way home he pops in a Stones CD (nothing unusual about that). You Can't Always Get What You Want begins to play as we get close to the house. We pull into the drive and we're sitting in the car. All of sudden he turns to me with tears in his eyes and says, "You're moving away from me." I told him I wasn't moving away from HIM but that yes I was moving. Then I asked him if he really wanted me to stay. He replied, "I want you to do what's best for you". I told him that I was and that's why I had to go. At this point we're both crying in the car listening to that damned song. Now I cry every time I hear it...