Land of Confusion

Even though last week was kind of crappy, I had one thing that I was looking forward to. Mr. 40+ was finally coming home after being gone for 2 weeks and he wanted to see me. He didn't get in until almost midnight Friday but instead of taking his tired ass home, he came out to the bar to see me. When he showed up where was I? Not where I should have been.

I came out to the bar earlier and ordered a glass of red wine (mistake #1). I was sitting there talking to Tommy Lee when some other friends convinced us to go to this other bar with them. So off we go. When we get there one of my friends orders me a glass of red wine and when I finish that one, another (mistakes #2 & #3). I'm tipsy when Tommy and I leave this bar to go back to our bar. CAT has kept my half glass of wine from earlier behind the bar and gives it to me when we come back in. As I near the bottom of this glass, Tommy Lee has her fill it up again (mistake #4).

Now on my fourth glass of red wine, my friend Abby comes in with some of his friends, one of which is the Young Republican. I've met the Young Republican a few times and for some reason think he's pretty foxy. The Young Republican actually starts to flirt with me a little. I'm a flirt so I flirt back. After I finish my wine, the guys ask me to go across the street with them to another bar. I go. Someone buys me yet another glass of red wine (mistake #5). The Young Republican and I sit and talk. It becomes pretty clear that he's interested and I tell him that I actually have to meet someone else later on. He keeps telling me to go and be with Mr. 40+ and I know I need to and I want to see him, but also I'm pretty happy being with the Young Republican too. Eventually I leave and go meet Mr. 40+.

I'm sitting there talking to Mr. 40+ in "the bar" and in walks the Young Republican. He comes up to me and refuses to leave until I give him my number. I'm drunk and admittedly not thinking clearly and I give him a number in plain sight of Mr. 40+. Yes, I know it was tacky and I feel horrible about it but I honestly just didn't know what else to do. After he gets my number he leaves. Mr. 40+ and I hang for a while longer and then he decides to head home.

As soon as Mr. 40+ had a 5 minute head start I went straight back over to the other bar where the Young Republican was. I know, really dumb move. He tells me how glad he is that I came back and we sit a talk. Eventually he leans in and kisses me (and no I'm not talking tongue here). Um, okay that was nice. Then he kisses me again very softly on the lips. At this point I'm a puddle of goo. He asked me to step outside because it was pretty obvious to both of us that we were totally going to do that again and neither one of us wanted it to happen in front of everyone. We go outside, it's cold, it's raining, but neither of us seem to care. We stand against the building and kiss for what seems like hours. He tells me I'm beautiful. He wants me to pick him instead of Mr. 40+. He's even perceptive enough to realize that I'm having a difficult time being here with him when I was just with Mr. 40+ (I don't juggle). I couldn't tell you the last time someone kissed me and there were fireworks, but Friday night I felt them. It was all so "An Affair To Remember" that I think I got a little too caught up in it.

CAT came to get me when she got off work so she could drive me home. I was still standing outside with the Young Republican with way too much PDA going on. I told him I had to go. He offered to take me home. I declined. He promised he be a "good boy". Again I declined. He let me go and told me he'd call the next day. I go home with CAT with stars in my eyes.

I wake up Saturday morning with a hangover. Mr. 40+ calls and confirms dinner that night. I get no call from the Young Republican. I know I should totally just chalk it up to: he saw a drunk girl that he found attractive and wanted to see if he could get some ass, but I can't stop thinking about him or that kiss. I had a great time on my date with Mr. 40+ which of course made me feel even more guilty that I couldn't get the Young Republican out of my head. I'm feeling like a complete nut job today. And I don't like it. Somehow I've just ended up feeling badly about all of this. God, I'm so not a playa.

I'd also like to give a shout out to Lizardbreath. I'm glad to know you're still reading and it's good to hear from you once in a while. I hope you and Kimmie are well.