I Am the Body Beautiful (?)

Although things have been going pretty well lately, I think I just fell in a sink hole. Last night I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. Off the mall I go with my "I'm Not Really a Waitress" in hand. I get my pedicure then I decide to browse a bit. I bought a cute new sweater and realized that I needed a new clear strap convertible bra. Knowing I won't wear this bra that often I bypass Victoria's Secret and go to the department store. The department store is having a huge sale in the intimate apparel section so I dig a little deeper. Eventually I find a few nightgowns and some bra and panty sets to try on as well. I mean I am spending time with two men so I'm thinking there might be naked time in my future. Gotta be prepared, right?

Into the dressing room I go. The clear strap convertible bra fits, one of the nightgowns is a keeper, then I get to the bra and panty sets. I try on the first one. The bra is really cute and fits well, but from there down it was just a disaster. I wish I could say that the panties were the problem but they weren't. It was me.

In clothes I think I'm cute/sexy/confident. I've worked hard to get to this point and I'm proud of my accomplishment. In clothes that I feel cute in, I could conquer the world. Strip me naked and I just want to hide. Loosing 100+ lbs has done odd things to my body. I don't like it. It's depressing. At this point I was really wishing I had a plastic surgeon on speed dial. There's no way I'm getting naked in front of anyone else. If I find it repulsive, I can't imagine what someone who doesn't love me as much as I do might think. I need to figure out a way to have sex with my clothes on or I don't see it happening ANY time soon...