Brand New Chimichanga

Thursday, February 23, 2006

I Am the Body Beautiful (?)

Although things have been going pretty well lately, I think I just fell in a sink hole. Last night I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. Off the mall I go with my "I'm Not Really a Waitress" in hand. I get my pedicure then I decide to browse a bit. I bought a cute new sweater and realized that I needed a new clear strap convertible bra. Knowing I won't wear this bra that often I bypass Victoria's Secret and go to the department store. The department store is having a huge sale in the intimate apparel section so I dig a little deeper. Eventually I find a few nightgowns and some bra and panty sets to try on as well. I mean I am spending time with two men so I'm thinking there might be naked time in my future. Gotta be prepared, right?

Into the dressing room I go. The clear strap convertible bra fits, one of the nightgowns is a keeper, then I get to the bra and panty sets. I try on the first one. The bra is really cute and fits well, but from there down it was just a disaster. I wish I could say that the panties were the problem but they weren't. It was me.

In clothes I think I'm cute/sexy/confident. I've worked hard to get to this point and I'm proud of my accomplishment. In clothes that I feel cute in, I could conquer the world. Strip me naked and I just want to hide. Loosing 100+ lbs has done odd things to my body. I don't like it. It's depressing. At this point I was really wishing I had a plastic surgeon on speed dial. There's no way I'm getting naked in front of anyone else. If I find it repulsive, I can't imagine what someone who doesn't love me as much as I do might think. I need to figure out a way to have sex with my clothes on or I don't see it happening ANY time soon...

5 Comments:

At 23/2/06 2:49 PM, Blogger Erin said...

I'm sure that you are your own worst critic and you in fact look fabulous. Think of it this way, most guys are so happy to have a naked girl in front of them they could care less if its not perfection. I know this doesn't help.

 
At 23/2/06 3:43 PM, Blogger Sally O'Malley said...

I know how you feel...it's a little nerve rattling to be coming out of a wonderful, comfortable long-term relationship where I didn't have to think too much about it and be slapped back into the world where I have to fight for attention and strive to impress... Erin is right, though - we are our own worst critics.

 
At 23/2/06 11:21 PM, Blogger DrinkJack said...

Men are smarter than we let on. Self confidence is a huge turn on. Trust me. I should know. I have the equipment, although it is getting rusty.

 
At 27/2/06 8:48 PM, Blogger Carrie said...

well... I'm not going to discredit your thoughts, cause I've been there myself. I'm STILL there. having the baby has put me into a whole new realm of ridiculous when it comes to thoughts of my own body.

so I'll say this.


When you find the right guy, he'll make you feel so beautiful that you won't even realize you're naked.

but until that happens... may I suggest a babydoll set?? usually has a flouncy cleavage-enhancing top that covers midrift and hips with panties that can easily be removed???

XXOO

ps.. come by my place.. I'm having a contest!

 
At 28/2/06 11:23 PM, Blogger DrinkJack said...

Oh, baby doll would be good. Love camisoles as well. Elegant and sexy.

 

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